before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
