Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
