my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
