grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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