I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Mom said you looked used
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
