You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
