We're facebook friends in real life
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
