Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
