watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
