I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
