Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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