I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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