can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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