I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
