Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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