paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
