Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
