Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
this will be a night to untag.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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