her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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