he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
