Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
3 2 1 whiskey
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
