i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
