Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
