It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
