Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
