i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
