It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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