Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just want to make out with him forever
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
