I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She even gives head with a lisp.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
