I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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