do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
