Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
