new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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