I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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