Don't make out with my wife yet
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
