you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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