Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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