where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
