My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
only you would photoshop your dick
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
