i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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