Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
