i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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