I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
