Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
