Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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