Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
