I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
