Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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