He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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