I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
