You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I will be naked everywhere
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
