My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
